What is the epitome of dumb? If you ask me, it’s visiting Google or Yahoo and actually SEARCHING for Google.com or Yahoo.com. Where do all these idiots come from? That’s not a rhetorical question… with the help of Google Trends we set out to discover just that.

Google Trends is a keyword analyzer that takes whatever terms you enter and provides specific data about search trends and history. Among other data, it pinpoints relevant news articles, displays a line graph, and get this: it ranks the top 10 regions and cities for these search terms. Alright dumb people, you can search but you can’t hide!

Remind me never to visit the dumb idiots in Irvine, California. And at #2 is New York City? Alright, so maybe this particular piece of data is a bit skewed based on the mere size of New York City. When you look at the data by REGION, you’ll find India and the Phillipines are much dumber than the United States and hey Nigerians… how much dumber can you get?

It may be important to note that this is ranked by someone visiting Google.com and searching for Google.com. While it’s feasible, it’s only slightly more stupid to search for Yahoo.com while at Google. Alright, not surefire evidence that these are the dumbest cities in the world but we wouldn’t be surprised. On the other hand, let’s try a more direct approach at identifying the gayest cities in the world, shall we?

I think we can be confident that a pretty gay thing to do is visit Google and search for “I am gay.” And while I had to search for “I am gay” in Google Trends to verify my hypothesis it was merely a part of the research method and I’m not gay. If you think I am, than you are probably from Irvine, California.

And the polls are in: Wow, you bloody Brits are bunch of queers!

The Top 10 Cities searching for “I am gay” are all in the United Kingdom. Judging from my computations, if you were born in the United Kingdom you are probably a cigarette. Not only that, but you are probably a transvestite homosexual. The Top 10 cities searching for Transvestites are ALSO in the United Kingdom. But were these gay transvestites born gay? Nope… not at all and we’ve got strong evidence showing they started tucking it under simply because they were bored. A simple search for “I am bored” shows that 9 of the 10 most bored cities make their home in the UK.

DISCLAIMER: The use of alcohol can and will impair your judgement. While the gayest tranny’s call Elizabeth their queen, Ireland outdid all other regions for the search term “transvestites”. Have fun blacking out.

Utilizing Google Trends in this manner was just too fun, so we tried a few more to see what stereotypical generalizations we could make about our great world. Here were some of the more interesting finds:

• While the United States is typically labeled as the biggest celebrity whore based on media coverage, our stats showed otherwise. Based on the search term “Paris Hilton”, Australia occupied 5 of the Top 10 spots including the Top 2! Hey Australians, go kill yourselves – Paris Hilton is worthless and so are you. Oh, whoops, wait… you’re ranked #1 through #4 for “How To Commit Suicide”? Not hard to see why but you’re making me nervous, get down from that ledge.
• At least the gay Brits are doing other humans. Pakistan milked the rankings as the #1 region for the terms “goat sex”, “donkey sex”, “cow sex” and “animal sex”. They also led the world for searching “incest”. Incestual animal humpers? Alright, you’re out of the U.N.! And India, we saw you at the top, too. Sickos.

And some more quickies:

• Don’t kiss anyone in NYC – they are tops for “Herpes”.
• Want to get rich? Be a “DUI Lawyer” in Naples, Florida.
• Oh my God the Gay Trannys in the UK are bored because they can’t get it up! They are all searching for “Viagra”.
• Pakistani’s and Indians are cheap… they want everything “Free”.
• Americans are frugle, looking for more “coupons” than anyone else.
• While Kenya and Nigeria are searching for Newspapers, we’re wondering why: to read or to live under?
• I need to move to Dallas, LA, Chicago, Toronto or NYC – they’re all looking for “Short Guys”.

We could keep going and going, it’s actually a lot of fun to look at the different connections. Have you found any funny, disgusting, weird, or interesting nuggets of info? Leave a comment!